Waiting for the MUGA

Loretta is resting (maybe not very comfortably) in the prep room for the Nuclear Imaging area. They are running a little behind (which is surprising – they are normally right on time if not early). Updates as they occur.

As I write this, I realize how hard it would be for a 24 hour news channel to fill the time. I knew it was hard from my past life in the TV biz (it was called the “voracious beast” in the days when you just had to fill 30 to 60 minutes per day) but I was never the guy in charge of planning what the content would be. No wonder the media is full of useless (or worse) content. This blog reminds me of that.

A Port for the Storm

Today is Loretta’s first day of chemotherapy.  Of course, it isn’t that easy.  First, she has to have a port installed so they can start pouring various chemicals into her.  The port procedure is fairly short – maybe 45 minutes.  The prep for it has been 2+ hours.  The port is essentially an I/O (input/output device) that links the outside world with a spot in her vein right above the first input valve of her heart.  They like it there because it is “very turbulent” and there is a lot of blood going by very quickly so the really nasty chemicals to come are dispersed very quickly.

Once it is in, they will let me back in to see her for a few minutes.  Then it is off to make her radioactive (again) to get a baseline for her heart function.  I’ll post another exciting update after I’ve seen her.

[Update] She’s out and all went well.

This is what the port looks like:

image

The wedge-shaped thing is where external needles go and is implanted against her pectoral muscle on the left side. The tube goes up and over her collarbone then down the jugular vein to her heart.

Friends of Loretta

WOW!  On Friday, March 15, my friends held a Friends of Loretta get together.  I knew that this event was going to happen, I just didn’t know what it entailed.  Boy was I surprised!  Scott, Fiona and I arrived at the gym a bit after 7:30.   David and Jan were there.  (Rachel was sick and couldn’t be there.  I am hoping one of them writes about buying the flower from the two of them).   Waiting for me were friends, family, co-workers and clients.  (Actually, I should say all my friends who happen to also be clients, co-workers and family.)

This event was put together by my dear friend Roberta.  It was a “good wishes for the next phase of my recovery” party.  After an introduction from another friend, Alexa, and a few words from me, the well wishes began.  Every person or couple brought a flower and were given a bracelet.  As I met each person, they gave me the flower and the bracelet and hugs and well wishes and hope and love.

Scott took some photos of the event that you can see here.

The flowers were made into three gorgeous arrangements.  The bracelets went on my wrists.  There were 53 bracelets symbolizing 20 weeks of chemo and 33 days of radiation.  I had originally thought that I would get 33 bracelets at the start of radiation and remove one after each treatment.   That idea was taken one step further to include the weeks of chemo.  Since wearing all 53 bracelets won’t be feasible (I still have tests to be done that all metal needs to be removed from my body) I have decided to wear them in groups.  Small goals on the way to the ultimate goal.

The first group will be 8 bracelets for the 8 weeks (4 cycles every other week) of AC.  The second group will be 12 bracelets for the 12 weeks (once a week) of T.  I will then take a little bracelet break for surgery.  The third group will be 33 bracelets for the 33 radiation treatments over 6.5 weeks.  AND THEN I WILL HAVE MET THE BIG, FINAL GOAL!!!!!

I received a basket with slips of colorful paper written with words of encouragement, jokes, more well wishes, etc.  I have read them all and will keep them close for the times I may need a little pick me up.  I also received a montage picture of friends and family who weren’t able to attend.  For those of you who couldn’t make it or are just now hearing about this event, I still feel your love and support.

It is hard to put into words how much this evening met to me.  Knowing that my friends wanted to do this for me and seeing all the people gathered for me was very humbling.  All the kind words of love and encouragement will stay with me forever.  Each hug made me feel mentally and emotionally stronger.

Today I received a card from a good friend of my mom’s (my mom died in 2005 from pancreatic cancer.)  She wanted me to know that she and my mom’s other friends are sending prayers from Virginia.  She also told me that my mom called me courageous.  I don’t know about that.  But I do know that it is easier to be courageous when you are surrounded by people who so freely give you flowers and bracelets and well wishes and hope and love.

Drain, drain go away…

Drain, drain go away.  Don’t come back no how, now way.  I did get the drain removed last Saturday!  I didn’t have to take it to Canada with us.  No extra passport needed!  However, even though the drain itself is gone, draining continues to occur,  I am sort of like a water balloon with a teeny, tiny hole in it.  I feel like I have sprung a leak.  I use a lot of gauze stuffed into my bra in my armpit.  Do to my sensitivity to adhesives, I had to stop taping the gauze down.  Too much skin was coming off with the tape.  Of course, this may all be TMI!

Anyway, bottom line is the drain is gone and soon I will stop leaking (at least from my armpit.)  Another milestone met.  Now I can start physical therapy on my right arm.  (I am still doing PT for the pinched nerve on the left side.  That is MUCH better BTW.)  The axillary lymph node dissection can result in arm lymphedema.  This type of lymphedema is caused by the removal of some or all of the lymph nodes in the arm pit and the arm swells.  Physical therapy has shown to help this from occurring.

 

 

Reprieve?

I kept waiting for the call that said it was all a mistake.  I knew deep down that it was not going to happen.  But maybe it will be like the movies and I would get a last minute reprieve…  I wrote this when I first started the blog and didn’t finish it.  Below is the rest.

As we all know, that was not the case.  The script was not written with a last minute reprieve.  Or was it?  A “reprieve”, in it’s noun form, is a cancellation or postponement of a punishment.   While I in no way think my cancer diagnosis is any sort of punishment, maybe it is some sort of a cancellation.

I am cancelling a life of cancer for a life free of cancer.  I don’t even want to think about the ramifications if the diagnosis had been made any later than it was.  I am cancelling aspects of my life that need to be changed in order to deal with an ever changing life script.  Dealing with the ever changing script of my life is a huge learning process.

I am learning that not having control over every aspect of your life is, at times, overwhelming.

I am learning how to ask for help without feeling like a bother, or high maintenance, or a pain in the neck, or a whiner, or whimpy.  I could go on and on but I think you get the point.

I am learning that too much internet searching is not productive, mentally or emotionally.

I am learning that I am my own best advocate.

I am learning that I am so lucky to have access to such outstanding medical care.

I am learning how truly and deeply loved I am from my community, friends and family.

So I think that a reprieve was written into the script of my life.  I think the script will again be rewritten and the reprieve will be replaced by permanent life changes, life changes learned from my reprieve.

Fun Videos

Along with the jokes, I have been sent some very funny videos.  This is one of my favorites and so apropro.

Canadians have the best breast self exam videos ever!
http://youtu.be/QA2uPxYeXGU

This is Gym Etiquette by Jimmy Tatro.  Warning the language might be offensive to some.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YByfi1ENOiI

Paper is not dead.

Enjoy!

Whistler Bound!

We are headed to Whistler for five days of relaxation!  A good friend and client has offered her condo to me for years.  This was the first time we were able to take advantage of such a great offer.  Fiona is home for Spring Break and this was a vacation we planned BD (before diagnosis.)  Scott and Fiona will snowboard while I do my best to rest up for the onslaught of chemo.

Speaking of chemo, the first round of AC is only four cycles given every other week.  I originally thought it was six cycles.  The AC will still be followed by 12 cycles of T given once a week.  Meaning that my November 13 tentative end date is moved up to October 16!

Our 30th wedding anniversary is October 15.  I think finishing up cancer treatment says “I love you” better than any pearl or diamond could! (Of course diamonds are really pretty….)

The Plan – Vanna can I have an “A” a “C” and a “T”?

Today was the day to get “The Plan.”  Scott and I met with the oncologist today.  I will start off by saying he is a super nice guy.  I feel very confident with the care I am receiving from him.  I will have two rounds of chemo.  They will run consecutively.  The drugs are called AC and T.  See the following:

AC + Taxol / Taxotere – AC is one of the five most common types of chemotherapy given to women with breast cancer. It includes two drugs: doxorubicin (Adriamycin), and cyclophosphamide (Cytoxan). Paclitaxel (Taxol) or docetaxel (Taxotere) is added to AC for women with node-positive cancer, or in women who’ve had a recurrence; it’s delivered after you’ve finished the AC.

I will start with the AC next Friday.  This will be an infusion every other Friday for 6 rounds or 12 weeks.  The major side effects of this drug are nausea, low white cell counts and hair loss.  To combat two of these side effects I will get anti nausea drugs and a white cell booster.  The hair loss has no counter.  I will lose my hair.  Generally a person will feel the worst of the side effects about 7-8 days after an infusion.  This can last a few days.  You then feel better to start it all over.

As soon as the AC is complete, the T begins.  This round does not have as severe side effects as the AC.  It is an infusion once a week for 12 weeks. One of the major side effects is tingling fingertips.  There are ways to counter this side effect also.

That brings me to one of the biggest side effects of all.  Instant menopause!  Instead of lasting 4-5 years, it will happen in a flash (no pun intended.)  Apparently there are also ways to combat these side effects.

By my calculations, I will be finished with chemo on August 23!  I will have a week or two to recover and then the final margin surgery.  After another 2 weeks or so I will start radiation. Radiation will be 33 sessions.  That translates to every day, M-F for 6.5 weeks.  I am hoping it will all be done by Nov 13!!!

So, there you have it, “The Plan.”  There will be some rough periods. But, the bottom line of all of this is, and I quote the oncologist, is that when this is all done “You will be okay.”