Author Archives: Loretta Stanton

Doing OK, yawn…

Just thought I would let you know that I am feeling ok right now.  I just yawn a lot.  And I mean a lot!  It is kinda crazy how yawny I am.  It gets a bit embarrassing as I don’t want people to think they are boring me.  I just can’t help myself.  I guess I can say that I will have fatigue as a side effect of chemo!  I should have counted my yawns.  There will be hundreds of thousands of them over the next seven months.  So if you see me around town or at the gym or at home and I am yawning, don’t mistake it for boredom.  I’m probably having a great time doing whatever it is I am doing.

First bracelet removed!

Yesterday was a long, long day.  But yet again, I can’t say enough about every person we encountered at SCCA.  From my nurse for the port placement, to the MUGA scan tech, to the chemo nurse, everyone was kind and patient and informative.  SCCA personnel try to make your experience there as painless (physically and emotionally) as possible.

The port is pretty ugly right now due to bruising.  I find bruising to be fascinating in terms of how and where things bruise.  Of course, it is more fascinating when it is not on your own body.  Also, this is one time that being in shape without a lot of fat is not ideal.  Since the port sits in subcutaneous tissue it is better to have more fat and less muscle – in this case only!  And it is not a reason to maintain more fat and less muscle!   But at least I have the port so I don’t have to be stuck so many times!

Today I was very tired but managed to walk to and from PT.  About one mile round trip!  Wow!  I then rested the rest of the day and am still resting as I write.  Had a very yummy dinner delivered.  I am hoping to have a lot more energy tomorrow!

I took eight bracelets with me yesterday.  This first round of chemo will last eight weeks.  I put them on while having chemo.  When we got home, I took the first one off!  I put it in a basket that holds the good thoughts and wishes papers from the FOL get together.  Only 52 more to go!

Friends of Loretta

WOW!  On Friday, March 15, my friends held a Friends of Loretta get together.  I knew that this event was going to happen, I just didn’t know what it entailed.  Boy was I surprised!  Scott, Fiona and I arrived at the gym a bit after 7:30.   David and Jan were there.  (Rachel was sick and couldn’t be there.  I am hoping one of them writes about buying the flower from the two of them).   Waiting for me were friends, family, co-workers and clients.  (Actually, I should say all my friends who happen to also be clients, co-workers and family.)

This event was put together by my dear friend Roberta.  It was a “good wishes for the next phase of my recovery” party.  After an introduction from another friend, Alexa, and a few words from me, the well wishes began.  Every person or couple brought a flower and were given a bracelet.  As I met each person, they gave me the flower and the bracelet and hugs and well wishes and hope and love.

Scott took some photos of the event that you can see here.

The flowers were made into three gorgeous arrangements.  The bracelets went on my wrists.  There were 53 bracelets symbolizing 20 weeks of chemo and 33 days of radiation.  I had originally thought that I would get 33 bracelets at the start of radiation and remove one after each treatment.   That idea was taken one step further to include the weeks of chemo.  Since wearing all 53 bracelets won’t be feasible (I still have tests to be done that all metal needs to be removed from my body) I have decided to wear them in groups.  Small goals on the way to the ultimate goal.

The first group will be 8 bracelets for the 8 weeks (4 cycles every other week) of AC.  The second group will be 12 bracelets for the 12 weeks (once a week) of T.  I will then take a little bracelet break for surgery.  The third group will be 33 bracelets for the 33 radiation treatments over 6.5 weeks.  AND THEN I WILL HAVE MET THE BIG, FINAL GOAL!!!!!

I received a basket with slips of colorful paper written with words of encouragement, jokes, more well wishes, etc.  I have read them all and will keep them close for the times I may need a little pick me up.  I also received a montage picture of friends and family who weren’t able to attend.  For those of you who couldn’t make it or are just now hearing about this event, I still feel your love and support.

It is hard to put into words how much this evening met to me.  Knowing that my friends wanted to do this for me and seeing all the people gathered for me was very humbling.  All the kind words of love and encouragement will stay with me forever.  Each hug made me feel mentally and emotionally stronger.

Today I received a card from a good friend of my mom’s (my mom died in 2005 from pancreatic cancer.)  She wanted me to know that she and my mom’s other friends are sending prayers from Virginia.  She also told me that my mom called me courageous.  I don’t know about that.  But I do know that it is easier to be courageous when you are surrounded by people who so freely give you flowers and bracelets and well wishes and hope and love.

Drain, drain go away…

Drain, drain go away.  Don’t come back no how, now way.  I did get the drain removed last Saturday!  I didn’t have to take it to Canada with us.  No extra passport needed!  However, even though the drain itself is gone, draining continues to occur,  I am sort of like a water balloon with a teeny, tiny hole in it.  I feel like I have sprung a leak.  I use a lot of gauze stuffed into my bra in my armpit.  Do to my sensitivity to adhesives, I had to stop taping the gauze down.  Too much skin was coming off with the tape.  Of course, this may all be TMI!

Anyway, bottom line is the drain is gone and soon I will stop leaking (at least from my armpit.)  Another milestone met.  Now I can start physical therapy on my right arm.  (I am still doing PT for the pinched nerve on the left side.  That is MUCH better BTW.)  The axillary lymph node dissection can result in arm lymphedema.  This type of lymphedema is caused by the removal of some or all of the lymph nodes in the arm pit and the arm swells.  Physical therapy has shown to help this from occurring.

 

 

Reprieve?

I kept waiting for the call that said it was all a mistake.  I knew deep down that it was not going to happen.  But maybe it will be like the movies and I would get a last minute reprieve…  I wrote this when I first started the blog and didn’t finish it.  Below is the rest.

As we all know, that was not the case.  The script was not written with a last minute reprieve.  Or was it?  A “reprieve”, in it’s noun form, is a cancellation or postponement of a punishment.   While I in no way think my cancer diagnosis is any sort of punishment, maybe it is some sort of a cancellation.

I am cancelling a life of cancer for a life free of cancer.  I don’t even want to think about the ramifications if the diagnosis had been made any later than it was.  I am cancelling aspects of my life that need to be changed in order to deal with an ever changing life script.  Dealing with the ever changing script of my life is a huge learning process.

I am learning that not having control over every aspect of your life is, at times, overwhelming.

I am learning how to ask for help without feeling like a bother, or high maintenance, or a pain in the neck, or a whiner, or whimpy.  I could go on and on but I think you get the point.

I am learning that too much internet searching is not productive, mentally or emotionally.

I am learning that I am my own best advocate.

I am learning that I am so lucky to have access to such outstanding medical care.

I am learning how truly and deeply loved I am from my community, friends and family.

So I think that a reprieve was written into the script of my life.  I think the script will again be rewritten and the reprieve will be replaced by permanent life changes, life changes learned from my reprieve.

Fun Videos

Along with the jokes, I have been sent some very funny videos.  This is one of my favorites and so apropro.

Canadians have the best breast self exam videos ever!
http://youtu.be/QA2uPxYeXGU

This is Gym Etiquette by Jimmy Tatro.  Warning the language might be offensive to some.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YByfi1ENOiI

Paper is not dead.

Enjoy!

Whistler Bound!

We are headed to Whistler for five days of relaxation!  A good friend and client has offered her condo to me for years.  This was the first time we were able to take advantage of such a great offer.  Fiona is home for Spring Break and this was a vacation we planned BD (before diagnosis.)  Scott and Fiona will snowboard while I do my best to rest up for the onslaught of chemo.

Speaking of chemo, the first round of AC is only four cycles given every other week.  I originally thought it was six cycles.  The AC will still be followed by 12 cycles of T given once a week.  Meaning that my November 13 tentative end date is moved up to October 16!

Our 30th wedding anniversary is October 15.  I think finishing up cancer treatment says “I love you” better than any pearl or diamond could! (Of course diamonds are really pretty….)

The Plan – Vanna can I have an “A” a “C” and a “T”?

Today was the day to get “The Plan.”  Scott and I met with the oncologist today.  I will start off by saying he is a super nice guy.  I feel very confident with the care I am receiving from him.  I will have two rounds of chemo.  They will run consecutively.  The drugs are called AC and T.  See the following:

AC + Taxol / Taxotere – AC is one of the five most common types of chemotherapy given to women with breast cancer. It includes two drugs: doxorubicin (Adriamycin), and cyclophosphamide (Cytoxan). Paclitaxel (Taxol) or docetaxel (Taxotere) is added to AC for women with node-positive cancer, or in women who’ve had a recurrence; it’s delivered after you’ve finished the AC.

I will start with the AC next Friday.  This will be an infusion every other Friday for 6 rounds or 12 weeks.  The major side effects of this drug are nausea, low white cell counts and hair loss.  To combat two of these side effects I will get anti nausea drugs and a white cell booster.  The hair loss has no counter.  I will lose my hair.  Generally a person will feel the worst of the side effects about 7-8 days after an infusion.  This can last a few days.  You then feel better to start it all over.

As soon as the AC is complete, the T begins.  This round does not have as severe side effects as the AC.  It is an infusion once a week for 12 weeks. One of the major side effects is tingling fingertips.  There are ways to counter this side effect also.

That brings me to one of the biggest side effects of all.  Instant menopause!  Instead of lasting 4-5 years, it will happen in a flash (no pun intended.)  Apparently there are also ways to combat these side effects.

By my calculations, I will be finished with chemo on August 23!  I will have a week or two to recover and then the final margin surgery.  After another 2 weeks or so I will start radiation. Radiation will be 33 sessions.  That translates to every day, M-F for 6.5 weeks.  I am hoping it will all be done by Nov 13!!!

So, there you have it, “The Plan.”  There will be some rough periods. But, the bottom line of all of this is, and I quote the oncologist, is that when this is all done “You will be okay.”