Some fun jokes

Today I will share with you some of the jokes I have heard over the last week.  They have all made me laugh.   Here it goes:

What do Billy the Kid and Winnie the Pooh have in common?  A middle name.

Archaeologists have found what they believe to be the body of Marco Polo. It was found at the bottom of a swimming pool…………..blindfolded.

A bear walks into a bar and says “give me a gin and………………….tonic.” The barman asks “Why the big pause?” The Bear replies “born with them, I guess.”

What do you call a guy who never farts in public?  A private tutor.

What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant? Swimming trunks……..

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt “crummy”!!!

That should be enough for today.  Will post more later.   I hope each and everyone one of you have a day filled with laughter!

15 thoughts on “Some fun jokes

  1. Julie Richards

    These are a hoot on a tired Friday. Here’s my ten cents worth:

    Very Short Story

    Man driving down road
    Woman driving up same road
    They pass each other
    Woman yells out window, “PIG!”
    Man yells out window, “B*TCH!”
    Man rounds next curve
    Man crashes into a HUGE PIG in the middle of the road

    Moral of the Story:

    We should all just listen

    See you soon — missing you!

    1. Brenda Fantroy-Johnson

      Nice, I miss you Loretta! But I did meet Darcey and she is very nice. Nope I know that won’t be the case when she’s training me, right?

      1. Ellen

        Not your comment Brenda, the joke about the pig in the road…whomever you get for trainer will work you! You are going to be in the strongest shape ever!

  2. Mary Cantow

    My brother Richard Quis co-authored a book”Thinking Anew”. I edited it for him. He also sends me blogs for himself and an author or two. The last one was a psychiatrist. He said one thing in his blog that I wrote down and have thought about it a lot.
    “The essence of anxiety is predicting something and not wanting it to come to pass.”

    May be too heavy at the moment so put it away for another time. I am going to look for some jokes because I have some very funny ones sent to me!
    Aunt M

  3. Jan

    Here’s one I bollixed trying to tell it last night: Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”? David, what do you think?


  4. Jan

    Here’s one my sister, Sandee, remembered from our childhood: Mr. and Mrs. Tomato were walking down the street with their little boy lagging along behind. Finally, Mr. Tomato said “KETCHUP!”

    Sounded better when she told it!


  5. Deanna Kaulay

    A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, ‘Jesus knows you’re here.’

    He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.

    Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard ‘Jesus is watching you.’

    Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

    ‘Did you say that?’ he hissed at the parrot.

    ‘Yes’, the parrot confessed, then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to warn you that he’s watching you.’

    The burglar relaxed. ‘Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?’

    ‘Moses,’ replied the bird.

    ‘Moses?’ the burglar laughed. ‘What kind of people would name a bird Moses?’

    ‘The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.’

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