Hello faithful BooBooBooB readers. It’s been a while since I gave my very twisted perspective on this so here goes (turn away now if you can’t stand stories about bodily functions):
Today was the third-to-the-last Taxol infusion and I didn’t go. David went which was great for both of them, I think. Unfortunately, Loretta is still on The List (and the List Update) but she is too nice to actually use it when she can for her advantage. As it turns out, she wasn’t on the right list (the one that said she was going to show up today), they got a semi-private space, the drugs were wrong, and the nurse was new to Loretta. It’s never like that when I am there. I’m lucky I guess. Anyway, it all came out okay and now she is alternately tired and buzzing around. The buzzing comes from the steroids that she gets with every infusion. The tired comes from this being the 14th infusion of drugs that are killing or severely wounding parts of her.
Some of you might not know that we came from the East (Right) Coast where we both grew up and lived for the first 17 of our almost 30 year marriage. In the summer on the East Coast it is common to have afternoon thunderstorms that momentarily cool the place off and then add to the steam (the cooling period is anywhere from 10 to 30 seconds after the rain is finished). I loved those thunderstorms. They were sometimes huge and ferocious, sometimes just in the distance so all we heard was the distant rolling thunder.
“What’s this have to do with Loretta?” you may ask. Well, last night, she did the most amazing simulation of that distant rolling thunder that I have ever heard. It was like the real thing. Only it was her guts. The Taxol is going after all of the fast dividing cells in her body including those lining her gut – from mouth to [other end]. This often makes it hard for her to eat (the mouth part), painful after eating (her stomach and intestines) and, later, [redacted]. The thunder simulator was the middle part. It sounded like a distant thunderstorm: active, booming, powerful.
I thought it was amazing and wonderful. She didn’t share my feelings.
She (we) are looking forward to that day when she can really start to heal from the inside out. When she can start to regain her amazing physical strength and rebuild her emotional strength. This has been a hard road and it has made her weak. I still see the glimmer in her eye from time to time and know that it is there waiting for the chance to come back and take control once again. Two more Taxol infusions to go. Surgery (which we will find out more about this Friday) and radiation are next. The thunder simulator’s days are numbered.
Thanks to all of you. The support we have both received has made this a lot easier. It is hard to imagine going through this without all the support we have gotten.