The last three weeks have been mentally and emotionally difficult. I am not sure why. They just were. I obsessed over the amount of lung being radiated. I cried after the radiation simulation. I had to come up with a couple of “Plan B”s for the house renovation. I was talking with a friend and told her that I sometimes just felt like crying and eating Snickers and Cheetos.
On Monday, I had radiation simulation. This is where they position you on the table using the mold that was made a couple of weeks ago. I had to lay in the mold with my arms over my head and not move for about 30 minutes. It was not a pleasant experience. I got another tattoo (this was a surprise as I wasn’t told that it was even a possibility) and the entire area to be radiated was outlined in ink. They really like to draw on you in radiation oncology. X-rays were taken to be sure everything lined up correctly and to double check that the radiation plan was good to go.
After the simulation was finished, I was told to look in the mirror at the outlined area so I would know where to put the aloe vera type gel given help with radiation burns. I stood in the dressing room and the reality of my situation got the best of me. I cried. It seemed like an awfully large area. It is a quarter of my torso. There was ink everywhere.
On Tuesday I had my first radiation treatment. I was able to sit down with the radiation oncologist and discuss my lung obsession. She patiently showed me the cat scan films and we went over each picture. She showed me what was being radiated and the dosage. Yes, a good portion of my lung will be exposed to radiation but only a very small bit will get a large dose of radiation. I am not so much obsessed now. Just mildly concerned. My daughter-in-law, Rachel, was able to go with me. Today I went for the second radiation treatment (only 31 more to go!) My sister, Christine is visiting for a week so she will be my radiation buddy for a while.
The house renovation “Plan B”‘s turned out just fine. Sometimes a “Plan B’ is better then the “Plan A.” We now have a toilet in the master bathroom and the tub is almost ready to be moved from our bedroom into it’s proper place in the bathroom. The tile and paint are finished and the vanity top will be installed tomorrow.
As to the Snickers and Cheetos… While I did have Cheetos at a dinner party some weeks ago, I have not eaten them since. Also, no Snickers have been purchased or consumed. So that brings us to the peach fuzz. Below is a picture of my current hair style and you can see the fuzz for yourself.