Today I will share with you some of the jokes I have heard over the last week. They have all made me laugh. Here it goes:
What do Billy the Kid and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A middle name.
Archaeologists have found what they believe to be the body of Marco Polo. It was found at the bottom of a swimming pool…………..blindfolded.
A bear walks into a bar and says “give me a gin and………………….tonic
What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor.
What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant? Swimming trunks……..
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt “crummy”!!!
That should be enough for today. Will post more later. I hope each and everyone one of you have a day filled with laughter!
I laughed out loud. Thanks for sharing.
Always enjoy a good laugh!
Not sure”awaiting moderation means”? Hope it is something good
Basically, it means we don’t trust you.
These are a hoot on a tired Friday. Here’s my ten cents worth:
Very Short Story
Man driving down road
Woman driving up same road
They pass each other
Woman yells out window, “PIG!”
Man yells out window, “B*TCH!”
Man rounds next curve
Man crashes into a HUGE PIG in the middle of the road
Moral of the Story:
We should all just listen
See you soon — missing you!
That’s a great one! Thank you, Julie, for the laugh!!!!
Nice, I miss you Loretta! But I did meet Darcey and she is very nice. Nope I know that won’t be the case when she’s training me, right?
that is a good joke!
Not your comment Brenda, the joke about the pig in the road…whomever you get for trainer will work you! You are going to be in the strongest shape ever!
My brother Richard Quis co-authored a book”Thinking Anew”. I edited it for him. He also sends me blogs for himself and an author or two. The last one was a psychiatrist. He said one thing in his blog that I wrote down and have thought about it a lot.
“The essence of anxiety is predicting something and not wanting it to come to pass.”
May be too heavy at the moment so put it away for another time. I am going to look for some jokes because I have some very funny ones sent to me!
Aunt M
Here’s one I bollixed trying to tell it last night: Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”? David, what do you think?
G’Mah
Here’s one my sister, Sandee, remembered from our childhood: Mr. and Mrs. Tomato were walking down the street with their little boy lagging along behind. Finally, Mr. Tomato said “KETCHUP!”
Sounded better when she told it!
Jan
You crack me up, Jan!!! 😀
Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who refused Novocain during a root canal?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, ‘Jesus knows you’re here.’
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard ‘Jesus is watching you.’
Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
‘Did you say that?’ he hissed at the parrot.
‘Yes’, the parrot confessed, then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to warn you that he’s watching you.’
The burglar relaxed. ‘Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?’
‘Moses,’ replied the bird.
‘Moses?’ the burglar laughed. ‘What kind of people would name a bird Moses?’
‘The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.’