Secret wedding vow no one told me about

When Scott and I got married almost 30 years ago (yikes we were only 5 when we got hitched) we wrote our own vows.  There was one secret vow that he must have whispered.  It is the one that the husband promises to clean and empty and measure the goo coming out of a drain which is coming out of his wife’s armpit after being diagnosed with breast cancer and having A LOT of lymph nodes removed.  I swear I never heard it.  He must have said it because, that is what he did tonight.

He ever so carefully stripped the line and then emptied and measured and recorded the output.  He gently pulled away all the old adhesives and replaced the dressings.   He did it like a pro.  He never waived.   He did it after waiting with me while I was injected with a radioactive tracer.  He did it after watching me walk up and down the hall waiting for the tracer to do it’s thing. He did it after waiting with me before surgery.  He did it after waiting four very long hours, by himself, during the surgery.  He did it after spending the night with me, in the hospital, on a ridiculously short and narrow bed.  He did it because he loves me.

Even though I missed hearing that vow then, I certainly heard it loud and clear yesterday, today and tonight.

39 thoughts on “Secret wedding vow no one told me about

  1. Diane Peterson

    This actually makes me teary eyed. I guess true and pure love does that. It’s a beautiful and overwhelming emotion.

  2. Deanna Kaulay

    Somehow I’m not surprised. The Scott I know is kind & gentle & compassionate. I have personal experience to draw on.

  3. Micky

    Loretta, as much as I wish you weren’t going through this difficult time, I love the perspective (and noted humor) you are sharing with us. The love you have surrounding you will help keep you strong. I’m adding to that strength field. Get well and then get back to a WBHS reunion one day.

  4. Cindy Mae Estep Lawrence

    One of the sweet blessings that comes with the dreaded cancer. Blessings on you both! A real man changes bandages with compassion and love .

  5. Eileen

    I totally agree with everyone’s posts. Loretta & Scott, the love you share for each other…and all of your friends and family, is so inspiring! What a blessing you both are!!!.

  6. Mary Cantow

    Sounds like Scott missed his “medical calling”. It is so reassuring (for us) to hear everything along the way. Keep up the good work Scott!!!!! Kudos.

  7. Diana

    But did he take a secret picture of how gross it looked like he did of me when I had mono? That’s true husband and brother-in-law love! Have a lovely day – I love you both!

  8. Mary Lynn Mounger

    I read you message last night and went to bed sobbing. I guess there is something to the vow we said all those years ago “in sickness and in heath.”
    It was beautiful and we admire your dedication and love for each other.
    Hope today is a good one.

  9. Nancy Walker

    Dear Loretta,

    I read your beautiful post this morning. Thank you…..all your strength gives me courage and strength, too. I’m giving Wendy updates. We both send you big hugs and much, much love.

  10. Cynthia

    Scott wins the best wife award!

    And of course I nominate him for the first annual Booby Awards Best Husband of the Year 😉

  11. Stella

    That is the sweetest, most heart warming sharing ever.
    That’s a powerful secret vow.
    Loretta I wish you all the best and sending you
    good thoughts and prayers.

  12. Rosemary

    What a beautiful love. Thank you for sharing the story, and with humor too! You are one strong woman. I missed you yesterday at the gym, by the way.

  13. Christine

    Ok, Loretta, after Scott just made me laugh with the Twix story you’ve gone and made me cry again!!! After MY experience with Scott’s support a kabillion years ago in college, unconditional support for his girlfriend’s sister (who got herself into an unfortunate situation) I heard him whisper “those vows” to you. Scott loved Loretta then so much that whatever she cared about he cared about, even as an 18 year old. Even to care about the “dumb” older sister he barely knew who was into things they were not. So, I do believe I heard him whisper those vows to you WAY BEFORE that wedding day!!! I LOVE you BOTH VERY MUCH!!! 😀

    1. Cathie Mitchel Ricketts

      That post made me smile because I remember being at your house one day while Loretta was planning her wedding and thinking how sweet it was that she was so totally excited to read me all of the menu items that were going to be served at the reception 🙂

  14. Fed

    Ok, I haven’t read (yet) the daily joke for the Humor Corner, so….here it is, on the subject :

    Judgment Day. All men and women show up at the gate of Heaven for having their lives been judge by the Almighty. To speed up the process–can you imagine how long would it take for God to judge one by one 7 billions human beings? I would last for Eternity!–I was saying… speed up the process, the Angels are organizing the crowd by sins: there is a line of the Prounds, the line of the Greedy, the line of the Lustfuls, the line of the Envious and so on. Then there is a long end-less line of men only: the line of husbands that have been dominated all their lives by their wives. The line is very very very long. Then, next to it, there is a short line, very short….actually there is only one man standing in this line. God look at him and askes him: “What are you doing there?” And the guy replies: “I do not know. My wife told me to wait here”.

  15. Michael Rosenthal

    Wait a minute, is this the same Scott who went shrimping with me and couldn’t pop the heads off the shrimp?? Definitely loves you more than he loves me!!

  16. Ann New

    Loretta, you and Scott have the most that any of us can hope for. A beautiful post and thank you for sharing.

    1. Jan

      Scott and Loretta always make me proud but Loretta’s beautiful thoughts about Scott’s caring for her in this difficult time makes me happy all over again that they married. Theirs is a marriage made in heaven with feet firmly on the ground when one or the other needs the other. Love you both dearly.

  17. Kristin Brealin

    Love is, Loretta, quite simple. It is, after all, a complete giving of yourself , without hesitation, to another , without wanting anything in return. It truly is the condition of just “being” with another. Love to you all.

  18. Tom

    This blog is really a touching read. Great idea. Now for some healing humor.

    Murphy’s Technology Law #4:

    If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then

    the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

  19. Pingback: dedication | The View From Here

  20. Tom Moench

    Stiofain Gael MacGeough popped in and shared a great story with us …

    As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn’t stop for directions.

    I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

    I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.

    The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.

    And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

    As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

    Apparently, I’m still lost… It’s a man thing.

  21. Tom

    Yesterday morning with Daylight Savings beginning I was reminded of an incident this past fall just after Daylight Savings time ended when I was early visiting an aging friend at his assisted living center. When I prematurely walked in on him he was busy covering his “privates” with black shoe polish….I said, “Bob! – You were supposed to turn your clock back”.

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