February 5, 2013 “The Day”

I was home from work for a week recovering from having a large sebaceous cyst removed from my right breast.  I decided I was gong to make Orange muffins that have garbonzo beans (I know, I know but they really are good) in them when the phone rang.  On February 5, 2013 at 11 am my life as I knew it changed forever with the words “The pathology report came back and it is not what we expected.  You have breast cancer.”    WHAT!!!!  The pathology report that no one, including me, was worried about.  WHAT!!!!  WHAT!!!!

I had the presence of mind to say “Wait, I need a pen.”    My heart was pounding out of my ears and I was having a hard time hearing and understanding.  I scribbled words like invasive, grade 2, mutifocal closeness, 2.9 x 2.6.  What the HELL!!  There must be a mistake.  A HUGE f@#$ing mistake.  I had a sebaceous cyst removed.  Not a cancerous tumor.  And certainly not something called invasive ductal carcinoma.  I was told years, and I mean years ago, that this was just a cyst and it did not need to be removed.  (See History above)  Six different doctors came to the same conclusion.  The pathologist, however, had something different to say.

Somewhere, in all that loud noise in my head, a calm voice told me that he would call back at 6 o’clock that night to talk to Scott (How am I going to tell my husband that I  have breast cancer?) and me further and to answer any questions we would have.  (More to come about this particular doctor.  He deserves a post of his own.)  I don’t think I thanked him at the end of the call because I can’t say I was thankful.  I was terrified.

What ensued was days of tears, phone calls, tears, phone calls, tears…..you get the picture.  Over the next either few or many months (exact timing yet to be determined) I will post here to keep you all up to date on the latest progress on my journey forward to health.  (But I don’t feel sick so how come I have to journey ?

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